Human beings have an almost instinctive response to measure and compare. Whether it’s wealth, achievements, or lifestyles, we often gauge our lives by the standards of those around us. This tendency doesn’t stop when it comes to suffering. When faced with trials, we can find ourselves looking at others’ lives, thinking they have it better or worse than we do. Either that, or we’re so wrapped up in our own problems that we forget there’s a whole world beyond our doorstep. But we’ll deal with that problem in another article.

Back to comparisons. We wonder if our struggles are as “serious” as theirs, or we might even try to reassure ourselves by thinking others have it harder. But what if this comparison misses the point entirely? What if suffering is not meant to be ranked or weighed against each other’s?

In the Christian life, suffering takes on a unique significance, not merely as hardship to be endured but as a moment for God’s grace to be displayed. And this grace is not found in comparing who has it worse; rather, it’s discovered in the God who is faithful to sustain each of us in our unique trials.

The Uniqueness of Suffering

Suffering is as personal as a fingerprint, shaped by our own personalities, histories, and temperaments. What shakes one person to the core may not faze another, and that doesn’t make either experience any less valid. There is no real comparison between the inconvenience of a root-canal and the weight of undergoing chemotherapy. While your tooth pain is nothing compared to the crushing weight of chemotherapy, it still doesn’t make that drilling in your mouth any more pleasant. It’s easy to dismiss smaller pains when we know there are bigger ones out there, but the Bible teaches us that all suffering, large or small, has its place in God’s economy.

The mother who stays up all night with a colicky baby may not be battling for her life, but she’s still fighting a battle. Or take the man at work enduring an unjust boss. He may not be enduring the whip and chains of an Israelite slave in Egypt. Yet, each moment of suffering, no matter the scale, has a purpose and weight in God’s eyes.

In each case, the suffering is real to the one experiencing it. The Bible tells us that God “knows our frame” (Psalm 103:14) — He understands exactly how we’re wired, what we can bear, and where we’ll need His comfort the most. He isn’t comparing our sufferings to a global standard; He knows what each heart needs and provides accordingly.

God’s Promise in Suffering

Here is one of the most comforting promises we find in Scripture.

 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

1 Corinthians 10:13

This assurance isn’t a promise that we’ll be spared from suffering, but rather that God knows our limits better than we do. He will sustain us, giving us the grace to endure exactly what we face. It’s tempting to look at this promise and assume it means no one else’s burdens are harder than ours, or vice versa. But this verse speaks to an individualised grace — a promise tailored to each believer’s unique strengths, weaknesses, and circumstances. God’s commitment is not to equalise our burdens but to equip us for the specific ones He allows in our lives.

The Misconception of Comparison

Despite this, we often fall into the trap of comparing our troubles with others’. We think, “If only I had that person’s life, things would be easier,” or “My suffering isn’t that bad compared to theirs.” Yet, this kind of comparison can lead us to either diminish our pain or grow bitter by assuming someone else has it easier. We think that because our suffering is “lesser,” it should be ignored or shoved down. But the Bible knows nothing of such stoicism. David cried out to the Lord over betrayals and heartbreaks, and Jesus wept at Lazarus’ tomb—even though He knew He was about to raise him from the dead (John 11:35). This is no game of comparative agony; it’s a reminder that God’s mercy applies to the smallest inconvenience as well as the greatest tragedy.

Comparing our suffering is like comparing different storms — a hurricane and a snowstorm may look different, but both require strength and resilience to endure. Looking at another’s trial to measure our own is not only unhelpful but can distort our view of God’s care. It assumes that suffering can be standardised, which it cannot. Each person’s suffering is deeply personal and valid in its own right.

The Right Way to Look at Others’ Suffering

So, if comparison is not the answer, what is? How should we view others’ sufferings without it becoming a measure of our own? Scripture calls us to bear each other’s burdens and to weep with those who weep (Galatians 6:2; Romans 12:15). When we look at another believer enduring hardship, the focus should not be on how our suffering stacks up but on the grace of God at work in them.

When we see someone enduring intense trials — perhaps a grueling medical treatment, financial hardships, or profound personal loss — we are invited not to envy or diminish but to marvel at the God who sustains them. Their perseverance can remind us of God’s faithfulness, which is also available to us in our own troubles. The hope is not in minimising or amplifying our suffering based on others’ experiences but in realising that the same God who carries them is ready and able to carry us, too.

The Comfort of God’s Grace

Ultimately, the source of comfort in suffering is not found by measuring our pain but by looking to God’s grace. He is the One who can heal, comfort, and restore, even in our darkest moments. When we see other believers enduring, it reminds us of the sufficiency of God’s grace.

 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 

For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

This grace is not only a promise of relief from suffering but also a deep assurance that God’s presence will uphold us no matter what we face. It’s a comfort that reaches beyond the specific nature of the trial and becomes the bedrock on which we stand. When we look to God, we see that our hope is not in minimising our troubles or comparing them to those of others but in resting in the God who is sovereign over every storm.

Conclusion

In a world where suffering is inevitable, we can find ourselves lost in comparison, wondering whether our burdens are heavy enough or too light. But such a view of suffering leads us away from God’s grace and into a place of self-centred measurement. True comfort is found when we stop trying to measure suffering and instead look to the God who is faithful in every circumstance.

Each trial we face, big or small, is an invitation to rely on Him and to witness His sustaining power. The lives of others around us serve as reminders, not of who has it worse, but of the grace that God supplies to each of His children in their time of need. So, whether you are dreading a routine procedure or bearing the weight of a profound loss, remember that God’s grace is sufficient. The hope isn’t in measuring the depth of our suffering but in seeing the magnitude of God’s grace in every struggle, big or small.

May we learn to lift our eyes from our troubles, not by downplaying them through comparison, but by fixing them on the God who walks with each of us, providing the grace that each unique journey requires. The hope, indeed, is in God.